Don’t become a “used-to-be”

This guest blog was written by Chris Budd, who wrote the original Financial Wellbeing Book as well as The Four Cornerstones of Financial Wellbeing. He founded the Institute for Financial Wellbeing and has written more than 130 episodes of the Financial Wellbeing Podcast.

Picture the scene: You’re at a party. One of the reasons you are attending is because your partner has told you there is somebody who would like to meet you. Someone who has similar interests and a similar attitude to life, and they think that the two of you would get on.

Your partner introduces you to this person, and leaves you to it. One of the first questions they ask you is the evergreen social opener: “So, what do you do?”

Your answer will probably have been refined over many years, maybe even decades. In the early days, it may have just been a noun. I am a solicitor. I am a doctor. I am a business owner.

As one’s career progresses, we will often add a descriptor. I am a partner in a solicitor’s practice. I am a medical consultant. I own a marketing business.

These descriptors often lead to further questions. The discussion starts to flow. What area of law? What type of medical consultant?

Then, there are some responses to the “So, what do you do?” question that need no further explanation, but will certainly evoke a conversation. I am a rock star. I am a novelist. I am an astronaut.

How the conversation develops is likely to be entirely influenced by the answer to the initial question. The astronaut response means that the conversation will now flow.

If the other person performs a role which has things in common with yours, then the conversation may be even easier. Two accountants might have lots to share; an accountant and a business owner might even see business opportunities.

Transition

Now roll this conversation forward in time, to a period after you have stopped performing that role. Perhaps you’ve retired, perhaps you have sold your business, perhaps both.

Now when that question “So, what do you do?” comes along, your reply is: “I used to be a solicitor / doctor / business owner.”

Unless you really did use to be an astronaut, the conversation is likely to dry up much more quickly.

Don’t be a used-to-be

Part of the process of preparing for a life transition is to make sure you are not defined by what you used to be.

Not being a “used-to-be” requires positive action. Who you want to be.

This is why many business owners use some of the proceeds from the sale of their business to invest in other businesses. It is an easy move from being a business owner to an investor. But is this who they really want to be?

Perhaps the surgeon who retires then continues to act as an adviser, perhaps to a medical business or charity.

Staying in a similar profession or role type can seem logical, as it utilises all that experience. But it might also suggest the person hasn’t actually spent much time thinking about who they really want to be, often because they are so busy doing the job that currently defines them.

Business owners often don’t think about what they will do after the sale of their business because they are focused on running it.

Who to be

How would you like to answer the question of who you will be post-transition? How about: I am a trustee at a hospice. I am a wildlife trust volunteer. I am a trainee pilot.

The time to start preparing for this is not three months after the transition. That lack of planning is why so many people drift into the next thing and struggle to answer the question “So, what do you do?” other than to say: “I am retired.”

The best time to plan life post-transition is years in advance. This is the function of the financial plan. The objectives of that plan should not just be “to retire at 60” but should be objectives that lead to a life of wellbeing and purpose. And making sure you are not a used-to-be needs careful financial planning. After all, being a trainee pilot takes a lot more savings than volunteering at a wildlife trust!

Please note: This article is for general information only and does not constitute advice. The information is aimed at individuals only.

All information is correct at the time of writing and is subject to change in the future.

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